Recent psychological research shows that increasing positive behaviour between people at work has two important benefits; people get less stressed and they work better. Positive behaviour is where people are respectful of you as a person and you feel appreciated. Negative behaviour is where people are rude, disrespectful and are too busy to give you the time of day.
What do we look for when we meet someone for the first time? Apparently, research tells us that we make fairly instant judgements about new people. For example, research around job interviews suggests that decisions are often formed in the first few minutes, sometimes even before we have had the chance to sit down.
How well do you connect with your nearest and dearest? A lot of psychological research has explored this subject, but it’s not rocket science. Perhaps the most critical ingredient is about how well you show interest and curiosity in your partner. Showing interest makes people feel heard and valued, and they like you more for it.
“With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world”. This famous line from the Desiderata illustrates the fairly obvious point that the world can be seen in positive or negative ways. Which one do you tend to focus on? Well, many of us often tend to focus on the negative. So, ask someone how they are and they will often tell you how busy they are, or how tired they are, or their latest crisis.
Research has shown that the first three minutes of conversation with your partner will pretty much guarantee how it will end. Start off with all guns blazing and you are likely to have a pretty heated argument that is destined to end badly. Psychologists call this a “Harsh Startup”. In the harsh start-up we go from nought to sixty in five seconds flat and it generally involves some sort of criticism or sarcasm.