Research has shown that the first three minutes of conversation with your partner will pretty much guarantee how it will end. Start off with all guns blazing and you are likely to have a pretty heated argument that is destined to end badly. Psychologists call this a “Harsh Startup”. In the harsh start-up we go from nought to sixty in five seconds flat and it generally involves some sort of criticism or sarcasm.
Do you ever find negative thoughts popping into your mind? Thoughts like, “I am a loser, nothing I do ever works out”, or “No-one takes me seriously”. It is quite normal for people to have these kinds of negative judgemental thoughts – but they can be especially troublesome for people who are anxious or depressed. If we cannot unhook from them they become a mental ‘quicksand’ and we can get bogged down by them.
Every month in Cornwall, just under 1,500 people are referred (or refer themselves) to NHS funded psychological therapy services. These are people who may feel they are struggling with low mood, are overly anxious or just generally ‘stressed out’.