It is a common experience to find ourselves in a bad mood after an argument? But, what can we can do about this, if anything?
Firstly, try to catch yourself in the mood and notice what is happening. There is a world of difference between being in a bad mood and noticing you are in a bad mood. This little mental switch has a major potential to change things. As soon as you notice it, it has a different shape and feel to it. You are looking ‘at’ it rather than being ‘in’ it. The mere act of putting a name to the bad mood can take away some of its sting. By doing this we are less likely to be hijacked and taken over by the mood. It is something we have rather than something that has us.
Bad moods colour our thoughts. They can make everything look rubbish. Suddenly, our work, our relationships, our life, all seem to be tarnished and grubby. Paradoxically, this is not the best time to solve our problems because our thoughts aren’t really to be trusted at these times. Going for a walk is probably one of the best things we can do. Seriously.
Finally, remember, that your mood is being fuelled by your thoughts. Yes, the other person may have been unreasonable or disrespectful. But imagine you were told that their dog had just died, or that they were really stressed out at the moment. “They must be having a bad day”, you might think, and your mood lifts. But in this situation, the only thing that has changed is your thinking. Recognising that it is our thinking that has the biggest impact on our moods can sometimes make a big difference.
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