We are all becoming increasingly aware of the impact of smartphones in our lives. They are truly amazing inventions. A phone, a camera, a message system, a portal to all the knowledge in the world, a social meeting place, a map, a music and video player and countless other games and online tools. But the cost is that they are becoming increasingly addictive. Like all addictions, they get in the way of being able to live a rich and rewarding life. We check them first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
How well do you connect with your nearest and dearest? A lot of psychological research has explored this subject, but it’s not rocket science. Perhaps the most critical ingredient is about how well you show interest and curiosity in your partner. Showing interest makes people feel heard and valued, and they like you more for it.
It is a common experience to find ourselves in a bad mood after an argument? But, what can we can do about this, if anything?
Research has shown that the first three minutes of conversation with your partner will pretty much guarantee how it will end. Start off with all guns blazing and you are likely to have a pretty heated argument that is destined to end badly. Psychologists call this a “Harsh Startup”. In the harsh start-up we go from nought to sixty in five seconds flat and it generally involves some sort of criticism or sarcasm.
As a therapist I often hear people complain about their partners. They say things like, “We just don’t have anything in common. We are basically incompatible”. Many of us will have had similar thoughts at some point in our lives. But is there any such thing as a compatible couple?